Thursday, May 16
Royston, Hertfordshire


Crows On The Road: Slough – Jez’s Report

Ho Ho Ho…..Santa Comes Early For Slough Town.

Crows at Slough Town FC

Saturday 1st December 2012

Result: Slough Town 3-1 Crows (Fehmi)

Attendance: 234 (Approx 30 Travelling Crows)


The Journey

Posse and I left Garden Walk at 12.10pm and the journey was pretty straightforward. Part of the travelling report team had a brand new sat nav! Well most Sat Navs have a choice of voices like normal, camp man and butch woman! Well this one had a life like Caroline Scott. Regularly through the trip this voice sounded “You are going too fast!” Ian in our party was looking for the ejector seat button at one point!

After negotiating several “special” BMW drivers and an absolute idiot at the M25/M40 junction we arrived safely and with our Sat Nav “Muted” at the home of Slough Town FC in Beaconsfield!!!


The Ground

To get to the ground you had to negotiate the temptation of Beaconsfield services, McDonalds and KFC were teasing you to come in before you had to jump over a dual carriageway and a hasty left onto a track that led you to the ground.

Once parked up we entered the main club house, immediately I thought that my glasses needed to be cleaned. Turned out that the room was full of smoke from the “cookhouse” that was also situated in these premises.

We negotiated a field that resembled Glastonbury at its very worst to reach the turnstiles that granted you access into this little bit of football heaven. At this point I am joking Crows! Not the mud by the way, the football heaven!

How would I describe the set up? Well now Crows, opposite me was uncovered terrace, to the right of me uncovered terrace, to the left was a seat stand that holds 250. Where we standing at this precise moment was, you guessed it, uncovered terrace with a little bit of shelter further on.


Food and Drink

After being unfairly denied the opportunity to partake in a KFC, I did take up the offer of a Slough burger. I was quite lucky, the lass on the counter stated “You have a lovely smile and you said please, I’ve not charged you for the cheese”…. Lucky me Crows, I’ve pulled over a slice of edamer! Not bad for £2.50, even better that I saved 30p on the cheese and also have Belinda’s number! Tried it earlier, got some strange person saying “Ho ya ya, yo got wang muber!”

However I was told by Nick that his large sausage was good! Let’s not go there shall we! Caroline stated that the water was good for her needs. Crows, you do need to come away to experience this!



£2.00 for an excellent read. Criticism though….. They need to get their facts right!

Apparently we are double League Champions! We won the UCL and the SSML last year! I know Paul is a miracle worker, but bordering on the impossible… never!


State of Toilets

Clean and warm but in need of modernisation. I was a little concerned about the gurgling noises coming from the urinals that went on for ages, I was half expecting an alien to pop out and surprise me!


Tannoy System

We heard no music, but the chap got a little over excited whenever Slough scored. I thought he was going to bust a blood vessel. He must be a little familiar with the players as he mentioned “the 3rd goal today has been scored by Little Eddie Smith and he is!”


Home Fans

Very quiet in the first half, in fact I did mention that they had a very low turnout. In the second half they all congregated in the covered terrace at the home end of the ground. Loud and itching for a response, after the second goal went in they started chanting “We’ve scored more goals than you have fans” in response we stated politely….. “At least we own our ground, at least we own our ground” This did bring a chuckle from the older supporters.



Good turnout from the faithful. A lot of chants of “C’mon you Crows” and “C’mon you Whites”! Players looked a little bemused when “Oh Ryan Ingrey” and “Oh Tommy Malins” were shouted out though!

We did feel confident of a result in the first half, but quietened by the second half performance.


The Game

Definitely a game of two halves this. Kept with the Rebels in the first half and were unfortunate to go in 1-0 down after the 45. Lil Luke Robins worked his socks off and frightened the opposition. Will Norris was a tower in goal with two fantastic saves, but the Crows fought on. Lewis Endacott played extremely well in his unnatural position on the left and although a goal down things looked positive.

Then the second half came…………………………………………………

The Rebels came out meaning business, we came out and were poor. Slough scored 4 minutes after the restart and then there was only one team in this contest. Long ball after long ball was knocked, the team looked disjointed and frustrated and you just knew what the final result was to be.

So a defeat, but after seven wins on the trot, the players should be really proud of themselves and if you are going to lose, it might as well be against the millionaire investment team of Slough Town.

However on another note, young Richard pointed up at the sky and mentioned “Look at the Kites”, well Crow’s, I strained me eyes and saw no kites, only birds! Like me, Richard Scott is a bird watcher. Unlike me, he is interested in the feathered variety! Did you know that the Kite (ie bird, steers with it’s long tail!) Another fascinating fact brought by yours truly! Yes Richard… this made the article!


Physio Watch

Only saw “our” Kim and that’s always pleasant. Especially after a performance like that. A cheery smile and a wave goes a long way.


Man Of The Match

Pretty unanimous decision this. Step forward for the fourth time Jack Bradshaw. This lad must love his Cava (Or needs it for Christmas gifts as we now owe him two!) Jack was absolutely immense in a pretty disjointed performance. He put tackles in when required and showed the passion of a winner. By far the best player on the pitch for both teams, that was acknowledged by the Slough support too. Honourable mentions go to Will Norris for some fantastic saves, Taylor Parr for an excellent shift and Luke Robins for being the best attacking option over 90 minutes,


Mileage for me so far (Round Trips)

1,096.4 Plus that round trip to stupid Burnham Ramblers.


Jez Izod (With additional reporting from Caroline Scott, Richard Scott and Ian Collicott)